Would someone PLEASE think of the vegetables?!?!

You know the "DO NOT ACCEPT CHECKS FROM THIS PERSON" sign behind the counter at the grocery store? I think there should be one that restricts repeat offenders from buying fresh fruit and vegetables. And I think I should be on it.

It's not just the willful neglect of the veggies, no. It's the full awareness, in the moment, at the grocery store, that someone is going to die a slowwww, painful death in the veggie drawer. The way to hell may be paved with good intentions, but the way to unreasonable amounts of mold is paved with 10 for $10 deals on cilantro. So, whyyyyy do I buy this stuff? Because. I know I am supposed to cook fresh vegetables. And I am supposed to want to cook fresh vegetables. And the beautiful pictures in the magazines don't start with, "Steam one pound of frozen peas"...

So, I'm sorry, Fresh Ginger. Really, for your own good, I will leave you looking glorious among the Swiss chard and radishes, instead of our usual pattern of leaving you neglected in the fridge basement looking like an infected appendix.

If a VAA (Vegetable Abusers Anonymous) group exists, I'll attend a meeting. In the meantime, will you smell this? I can't tell if it's a pear or an avocado...